The Tale of Sir Purpose

In Appetite, everything was strictly regulated. There was no freedom at all. It was a common saying in Appetite that “the sun occupies the sky by day, the moon by night,” meaning that it was always so, and, as such, the people never needed to bother looking up to see for themselves. They were always bent double.

It was a quiet place. Folks came regularly in and out of the city bearing heavy loads on their backs and in their hands. They did not know why they came and went. They simply walked the road that ran by that way, called You Avenue. They walked it because, well, doesn’t everybody?

The Avenue called You is not the way to go if you want to get somewhere. It leads up from the front gate, circles around the city, and leads back in again. Thus people walk day after day; always sojourning to the city called Appetite.

Appetite was ruled by a cruel priest named Pride. Pride was a barrel-chested man with strong arms and legs. He enslaved the city and all who dwelt in it. Pride was the only priest who lived in the city, and he was a priest to the great deity called Self. This deity is desperately wicked, and deceitful above all things. Who can know it? The priest sought always to protect his dictator, and he causes all people within his influence to worship at his alters. The alters were called Fools Honor and Vainglory.

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There was a knight, who wielded a two-edged sword, whose name was Purpose, servant of Yahweh. One day, when the fullness of time had come, Purpose’s Master sent him to invade the shining city and free many who lived there. The Master instructed Purpose to throw his lot in with Self’s unwilling subjects. The Master said that many of them were unwilling, even if they did not know it. The people were to enter into trade with Purpose and produce an economy that was different from the one that existed under Pride’s rule. Instead of dealing in heavy loads, they would deal in joy.

So Purpose set about his mission. He rode on his horse, which was called All Haste. He took with him his very powerful friend and ally whose name was Wisdom. Wisdom carried a sword like Purpose's. He had a hipflask called the Water of Life, and he rode on his own horse. The horse’s name means (being interpreted) “I Cry Aloud.” All of Wisdom’s resources of reason and might would be required before the end, because the inhabitance of Appetite were stiff-necked and slow. They must first come away from Appetite, and the great god Self, as you can well imagine, would never allow such a thing to happen.

Self saw Purpose and Wisdom riding toward the city while they were still a long way off. Immediately, Self told Pride, who dispatched his daughter to meet them and foil their plans, whatever they might be. Pride’s daughter’s name was Aphrodite. Aphrodite knew nothing of modesty. She rode upon a winged dragon named Babylon, who, like other dragons, lives only to hoard treasure in its deep, dark cave. Its cave’s name is Mammon. There are many who worship at the altar which is at the cave’s mouth. Many also worship on the lap of Aphrodite, but both daughter and dragon subject themselves to Self. Self is a jealous god and will have no rivals; he allows many to exist under him though, at his priest’s discretion.

Purpose and Wisdom met Aphrodite and Babylon face to face right outside the Beautiful gate, not far from the Avenue called You. Fire belched out of Babylon’s mouth, and the fire was called the Fires of Hell. Aphrodite also threw her Javelin, and on the javelin was inscribed the words, “In God we trust,” and “All roads are the same.”

Purpose’s horse reared up on its hind legs and toppled backward, nearly crushing Purpose under its weight. Wisdom raised his silver shield, which is called Faith by many, and by many, Folly. The shield protected them from the fires of Mammon, but Purpose’s horse breathed its last.

Purpose scrambled onto Wisdom’s horse and sat behind him. Wisdom worked the reigns with one hand and with the other he held his shield. They might have made it into the city gates had the people not began throwing stones at them. “Go home!” they shouted. “You are not welcome here!” So Wisdom and Purpose were forced to retreat.

On their way back, as they were looking for a place to regroup, they were met by Yahweh’s Well-Beloved, called Son, and Almighty, and Humble. The Well-Beloved explained that he had seen the battle and that he was moved with compassion for the people of Appetite, because of their heavy burdens. First, the Well-Beloved fed and refreshed his Father’s two servants, and he provided Purpose a new steed called Aggressive Love. Then he gave them both full sets of armor. The armor was forged by a powerful smithy called Grace. All his works are impregnable. “With it,” the Well-Beloved told them, “you will be able to withstand the people’s stones.”

The Well-Beloved also gave Purpose a lanse that was suitable for fighting dragons. On the lanse was inscribed the words “gospel” and “Logos”. Then the Well-Beloved sent the two out once more, saying—“Take the city, destroy the Priest, throw down the high places and crumble the strongholds. Leave that old deity to me, and my Father will rescue the people.”

So they advanced again toward the city walls and again were met by the dragon and the woman. Mammon and Aphrodite are no strangers to battle, but they are completely unacquainted with defeat. Many have met them in times past with an array of noble weapons, but all have been destroyed.

Self’s servants are devoted and fierce, but his is a lonely existence. The Priest never ceases to sing Self’s praises, but they fall on deaf ears. The occupants of the city can think of nothing but bearing their loads and walking their circular roads. And there are times, at night, when doubt flickers even in the mind of Self himself.

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The dragon approached from the sky. Fire engulfed Wisdom—soaked him to the bone—until a sizzling sound could be heard coming from the place where the stream of fire met the ground. Eventually, the dragon ceased spitting fire in order to catch its breath, pass overhead, and circle around. It wanted to see whatever might be left. Babylon had heard of the treasures that Wisdom carried and hoped to gather them from Wisdom’s charred remains and carry them off to its cave. When the smoke cleared, however, Wisdom was still standing, his shield held aloft, glowing brightly—the color of silver. Small puddles of dross were on the ground around him. Infuriated, Babylon roared and soared toward Wisdom again. Aphrodite gave a shout also and hurled her faithful javelin as hard as she could. Because of her fury, though, she missed altogether. The dragon was so angry it could hardly see straight. It wheeled again for one final pass.

At this time, Purpose dug in his spurs and galloped headlong to meet the adversaries. Babylon dove and soared toward Purpose on eye level, leaning backwards and pointing its many-taloned feet at Purpose’s head. But Purpose’s long lanse found its place in-between the scales of the dragon’s underbelly.

Babylon gasped. It spiraled out of control and crashed into the ground, throwing the woman from its back—the lance sticking out of it. Then Purpose fell upon Aphrodite and the two strove together. Even with the people jeering and flinging stones, Purpose never flinched. His face was set like a flint, and Aphrodite was frightened. When she saw that she could not prevail against Purpose by any means, she turned and fled. Purpose pursued her until she jumped into a nearby lake and swam away. The lake was called The Flesh. There are two other lakes, one on each side of The Flesh—The World and The Devil, respectively.

Purpose returned to find Wisdom still hacking away at Babylon. Wisdom had cut the worm’s belly open and out of it climbed many Kings from the past about whom men sing songs, and a great many paupers as well.

With the two welcomers dispatched, Wisdom and Purpose stormed the city. Wisdom’s horse climbed to the top of a steep hill and neighed with all its might. The sound of it was like the thawing and cracking of ice—an endless winter with spring at the door. Many of the people in Appetite looked up from the ground in front of their feet for the very first time, and blinked.

They saw that the sky was blue, and that sometimes, in fact, the sun and the moon occupy the sky at the same time. Some of them began to wonder, “What half-truths have I been living by? And, oh my, why?!” Some even began to think, “Well! I’ll be gee-willikared if I bear this load another step!” and “The Great Self can just carry his own load for all I care. Let him whine!” And some thought, “Hmm! I wonder why have I never ventured off the Avenue called You? I bet there’s a whole world out there!”

Wisdom’s horse kept whinnying and all the while people were waking up more and more and beginning to notice one another. They began to converse, and they talked about things besides Self. Every once in a while someone would say “Can’t that horse keep quiet?” To which people replied, “Dry up, you!”

All this time, Pride was lazing in his plush chair with his many concubines all around, fanning him with huge peacock feathers and feeding him grapes. He was just beginning to wonder what was taking his daughter so long when he heard the racket outside his window. He rose and looked out to see Purpose kicking over alters and Wisdom heading straight for his chamber with that awful two-edged sword in hand and gleaming in the sun and moonlight.

In Pride’s mind suddenly swirled a mixture of livid anger and fearful panic. He sprang from the window and his concubines scattered. He threw two big handfuls of incense onto the fire that he kept burning in his room, and a thick smoke filled the air. Pride had this variety of incense imported from the Kingdom of Flattery as tribute. It is called Confusion. It is not rare.

As the confusing smoke filled the room, Pride rummaged through his piles and piles of junk for his only weapon; a trident called defensiveness. He found it buried under a huge pile of sheet music—songs that his servants wrote for him. He grabbed it and turned to face the door just as it burst open.

Pride is a formable figure and he held his ground, but Wisdom advanced without slowing. He coughed, but did not allow Pride the time to gather himself. Wisdom immediately poured some of the water from his flask onto the fire so that it stopped smoking so much. He then jabbed at Pride with his sword, and because his sword was quick, he barely managed to poke Pride in the abdomen.

That was all that was necessary. Pride’s strong body immediately began to deflate. Before he could say a word, he was nothing but an inanimate mass spent upon the floor.

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Purpose gazed upward and started planning the destruction of the strongholds. There seemed to be one at every corner: tall towers built into the walls all around the city. There were also many high places of worship: one under every green tree.

“I’ll take the strongholds,” Purpose called to Wisdom, “You take the high places.”

“But you cannot bring them down alone, my friend!” protested Wisdom.

“I don’t have to; I think the people will listen to me. They will bring the strongholds down.”

So they began their work and kept at it late into the night. Wisdom stomped down the high places until they were all very low. The alter of laziness (which looked like a golden couch) was undone. The shrine of materialism was dismembered. The temple of indulgance was foreclosed with a sign reading “counterfeit,” and the mosques of every other idolatry in the city of Appetite were unplugged, smashed, poured out or otherwise made into a dunghill.

Then Purpose opened his mouth and taught the people the ways of his Master. His horse was so excited it could hardly stand still, so Purpose let it run. It ran around the city and all the children laughed and played with it. Purpose showed the people how to lay down the burdens that Appetite gave them and take up the joy that the Master sent. “The Master is on his way, even now. Let us prepare this city to receive him!”

Many of the people rejoiced and united. They renamed the city Peace, but many also call it Freedom to this day. They used high explosives to bring down the strongholds, the towers on the walls, and thus the walls themselves. The explosives they used were called Truth.

The circular Avenue was paved over altogether. Instead, roads were made to run out from the city in all directions, and the roads were called We, and also The Body.

And so it was that Purpose prevailed in his mission. Wisdom produced all his treasures and entered into trade with the people freely, and the people heard him gladly.

Very shortly after all this, while the people were dancing with all their might, one of them said, “look!” And they all looked up to see a glorious brightness called Shekinah coming down from a cloud and resting in the place where Self was once said to dwell. None of the inhabitance of the city knew what became of that old deity, but Wisdom explained that he had died.

“You killed him,” he said. “That is the only explanation for the presence of the Master’s glory here. He would never have come while Self was around. It has been said of Self that he was jealous? But he had no right to be. The Master is jealous by right, and he was pleased to come here when he found the throne where Self sat empty. I think you will find his yoke easier than your former master’s.

“And the Priest? Ha!” Wisdom shook with laughter. “Yahweh’s Priest is called Well-Beloved, Son, Almighty—and Humble.”